C is for Our crappy bad decisions

Well that just made my mind up.
I cannot be asked. Really I can’t.

My life is spilling over right now with ‘have to’s’ and schedules I cannot even fit in. WHAT THE FUCK am I thinking adding more to that equation to stifle the only place I really have to let go of all of that bullshit and unwind and ‘let go’, and be creative without being cerebral?

I get that writing challenges are just that – challenges. But in this context are they REALLY?

Or are they some crap ass way of marketing? (Obviously)

Whereas I DO enjoy playing with alliteration, which was the ONLY thing making me feel ANY enthusiasm to be forced to do a poem every god damn day of April basically, I – well – I don’t want to anymore. Not many things I can say that to. Rebel that I am not, I am not going to do it! HOORAY! NOW THAT feels better!

We all know I can alliterate away, because I can, Β and be a smart dick, so can my seven year old.Β But I feel jack shit doing so, so the point is?

Look, I kinda WAS ‘excited'(strong use of the word)… but a twelve hour shift, and that excitement quickly dwindles.

Ah well I guess i am not a REAL writer then – or maybe I am just not a real blogger?
Truthfully, it is repetitive and contrite.
Real writers would be motivated and push through the ‘I don’t want to and am tired.’
Yes, they would. They would stop blogging, stop playing fucking games and keep writing the poetry book they are writing, keep writing the story they began on Sunday, and stop getting distracted by … dunno … nice for some right?

Well there you go…we got to the letter ‘C’ to realise that it is all, for me personally, a load of CRAP. πŸ˜‰

Do you think (or feel like) changing your mind is giving up, or realising you made a bad decision? Not me…for you?

IW

Advertisements

10 comments

  1. Nah. I went into this one with the attitude that if I finish out the month, great, and if I can’t, fuck it. Do what’s best for you.
    Oh, and as for the “real writers don’t let themselves get distracted”? HA! I’m no real writer then, am I? πŸ˜›

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well now, you understand of course this only applies to me right? What is right for me is not always right for someone else.. πŸ™‚ (Anyway I was being fucking facetious towards criticism peoples minds like to throw at others. πŸ˜‰ )

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Don’t let others define you Belinda. You are a writer, a thinker and an artist. We know you could have fulfilled that challenge but it is sapping your energies and no one needs that.
    Leslie

    Like

~ ...please don't be an idiot...but say what you need to...~

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s