We can all find many questions – but we cannot find the answers. But how many questions go unasked?
Asking questions about our lives and our own outlooks often happens when we are feeling lost or confused. The feelings are serve a purpose to provoke thought – not as a way of life. Those feelings create a conflict and when there is a conflict we are meant to resolve it. They exist to show us that there is an underlying issue of how we are viewing things and it is affecting our entire being.
The solution is not in the feeling – the feeling or sense is just the beginning. The solution is in the process of knowing why we feel the way we do and KNOWING it is not the right way to feel – or it is the right way to feel. Sometimes we do not know WHAT we should feel about something and that in itself can lead to a downward spiral. The NOT knowing. Uncertainties in life assure us of not always having the answer to everything we face, but there are a few things we CAN be sure of – these are the things I like to think on and write on. The questions we do not think to ask – or at least, the ones I sometimes forget to ask myself. The constants of life.
When we feel something bad OR good about life – or even someone else – we can either add fuel to the fire and escalate our feelings about the situation or we can look at our feelings and find the truth about them…and change them if it is needed and/or appropriate. (we can escalate someone else’s feelings too with the right or wrong words!)
Keep them if indeed they are beneficially suited to the situation. If they are good – for the right reasons…not ….’good because, we want them to feel good’, when really we should be legging it out of the situation…then we should change our feelings.
By remembering the certainties of life we can recall our confusion or disenchantment with life and hold on to truths that allow us to endure through our current problem (real or imagined) until the solution reveals itself – or is offered through the connections we have with other people or, as the case may be, for me – something a little bigger than only people, that leads me too people – still – connections.
Human beings thrive on feeding off each other. It can be healthy and mutually beneficial – harmonious – or it can be VERY one-sided and narcissistic whereby one individual does all the feeding and the other is purely the energy supply. Falling into such a cycle with other humans is a sure way to lose all our stamina and leave us wilting and – quite possibly depressed. (Hence the post that touches on boundaries for our emotions- )
We can change our feelings either way by basing what we feel on truth rather than then the perception. We can find how to formulate our emotions with knowledge. We can understand our emotions and how they are triggered and process them as they are happening, to be able to know whether they are valid – or not.
Depending on if they are valid according to what you have established as a truth, you can teach them and lead them to where you DECIDE they should go, rather than a place that has been thrust on you by external factors.
Look – this whole concept requires a series – or chapters in a book -
But the concept is:
We ALLOW other people to control what we feel. Hence we allow other people to dictate what we do and the choices we make. We say ‘follow your heart’, but the heart is not the emotions – the heart is the instinct. Emotions shade our instinct with the ease that they are affected. Instinct from within the heart is ‘knowing’ through various ways – (another entire book) the way forward. It amounts to adding up logical aspects and experiential aspects. Certainly my ‘instincts’ have grown stronger as I have grown older – or at least I am more aware of them. They still worked for me at a younger time – but I was not tuned in to know HOW they spoke to me.
When we do that – let others control our emotions we give away our instinct to follow our ‘heart’ by allowing emotions (not even our own ones ) to be the controlling factor of our lives.
We FEEL out of control. we feel we have lost the ability to choose. We are not aware that we have handed over our lives to be flung around by external factors of life, so it feels like we have no control because things JUST keep happening to us to upset us or throw us off. When we feel there is nothing we can do to change anything, despondence comes which again saps us of our power and will to survive. Which in turn makes us even more prone to be flung about by external factors – anything and everything AFFECTS and determines our emotions. THAT is draining… it is a vicious cycle. A down ward spiral.
IF we can learn to catch it and turn it around – we have won and the spiral begins to move upward again…toward a better, and happier existence and outlook. Come what may. But first – we must understand the power we have to do it.
To see the signs and DO something to stop the spiral from going the wrong way. Like spirals going down the drain pipe being different on each side of the earth. (I know shocking right!?) it all depends which direction you look at things from.
Your outlook changes – when your perspective changes. It controls all aspects of us – OUR emotions, nor anyone else’s should not control us. They are simply a tool to convict us and teach us – and help guide us to our better life. They tell us when there is something wrong or right with either our situation or our outlook…determining WHICH it is… is… a process called life.
There are many questions we need to ask ourselves when we feel we begin to spiral downwards – these are the things I like to write about. It is never a one stop solution nor is it possible to express in one piece of writing, nor indeed – in one lifetime.
*Importantly - I am not depressed. Have I struggled with depression? Yes – or I would not even attempt to discuss it.
I get sad sometimes like everyone else. I get a bit tired. I ramble around in circles. I try express things that do not come through sometimes. I get frustrated, irritable, and I get fearful and concerned and on and on…in GENERALLY acceptable levels – but depression is another whole entity – it is not ‘a mood’ or an ‘itch’ – it is a vicious cycle in which normal emotions are exacerbated in some ways – or exacerbate IT…leading to the intensity of the weight that feels like it is – a living breathing grim reaper.