Knots of Truth

I saw a man today, that I had seen before.

I was walking with my daughter having the end of a smoke. He walked up to me and I knew he would ask for a light – I offered him the end of my fag, as I had no lighter.

He looked bedraggled, somewhat forlorn, kinda twitchy – a bit stoned maybe…but polite and happy.

A young man.

Today as I dropped my son off – I saw a man walking past the school with a sleeping bag over his shoulders.

I pointed him out to my eldest daughter – and said – I wonder what his story is?

I turned to look as we drove past him,  it was the same man.

Well built, strong looking, a spring in his step.

‘I swear if I bump into that guy in town I am going to sit him down and ask to hear his tale’.

My daughter just laughed saying, ‘You should do that!’

I dropped off the two girls and had to go put fuel in for the hours drive home…to think about what my next steps on this journey would be.

The cashier told me my card was expired. It is not. Must be faulty. Take name, number (they know me so know I won’t run)

Parked my car at the park – paid and walked to the bank… with no ID… tomorrows job I thought to myself.

Strolling along back to the car, wondering why I should hurry along, I passed one of the fancy mom’s from the preschool who pained to greet me…I looked in shop windows for part time work…it would mean not having to drive home everyday.

It made sense. Sad – logical – dead-end sense.

He was sitting at a coffee shop…sipping – and having a smoke…broad smile on his face.


He did not see me… I walked on with a knot in my stomach. A knot that I know quite well.


I walked slowly. There were a LOT of people around. WHY would I go sit opposite this young man who was seemingly homeless.

‘What would my husband think if someone sees me and tells him I was sitting with another man?’

‘Would he believe me if I told him why?’

Small town – small people… small lives… small things make a difference.

I ached when I sat in my car.

I turned it on and drove…nearly turned back…continued to drive… and drove…and drove.

I could have just stopped off and given him some company. I had the time. I could have given. He could have taught me something.

When I reached home – He had taught me something.

I cannot be scared to be who I am any more…

I cannot let the world nor anyone else dictate to me…who I will be and what I will do with my life.

I have to follow that knot that tells me I am walking away from who I am through fear-

I know the rules, I know what I am, I know why I am, I know whom I abide in, and next to, and for.

I know my loyalties and my weakness.

I know my strengths – time to use them for whatever reason they were given -

And live…

My life.


Should Blogging Be a Business?

This is a comment in response to a blogging article – 

All the above! My dearest baby has died a bit – should check the flat line! Except for a post I shared on Reddit – GEEES! But that was luck too in a sense…as I shared another another time (same time of day) and it got not much views – but thing is – lots of views…no comments. (Not a great fan of no comments actually – except when my head hurts) POINT IS: It is flat-lining because I am not breathing life into it…simply because I do not have the time to pay it the attention it needs – on all levels. NOT JUST writing…the writing is the easy bit (to me)
Tell you one thing else – which YOU know I am sure – but:
I think a lot of people do not realise how CURRENT blogging needs to be. that is not to say it needs to be like a news feed or über trendy…(but it IS kinda that way. too obviously) ..with whatever your ‘theme’ (or lack of – lol!) is.

When you start playing the ‘big leagues’ or are working toward them…it can be pretty consuming …it is a constant right? AS SOON as you leave it even just day – it hits a valley.
People are greedy and get bored easily actually.I suspect it is simple – if Macdonalds is out of fries…there is no queue at the drive through.

But – there IS a balance too.
I found if I did four posts a day – my stats spiked…take it over that and it ‘wasted’ the work. Would be better off spending that time interacting rather than writing.

But I imagine it is also dependant on the kind of blog (post quantity) these very organised blogs kinda NEED to stick to a bit of predictability and schedule – would be pointless posting a whole series in one day…but then…I guess they could post other stuff!

Its a touch and feely thing hey…but bottom line…if you want it to behave like a busy highstreet business with lots of customers…then it needs to be TREATED like a business…if you are just selling fries on the corner from a table to people who just happen to pass by – then dont expect the custom that Mac gets.
The difference? Mac are seen, advertised, heard, ‘trusted'(LOL!) and cater to our lifestyles which are rapidly on the go.
Now some may say that they would prefer quality over quantity… I am one (sometimes)

However – that is all fair an well…produce less as more (quality but less frequent…YOU STILL need to GO OUT and hand out pamphlets or samples – or SOMETHING right?
I live in the middle of nowhere (seriously – no graveyard this time though) — I think I should set up a stall selling lemonade outside my house…. I have the lemons – the sugar – the glasses – the table – I could make a little sign… Oddly it is a busy road that passes by…but it is a freeway type road so no stopping. I am sure folk are NOT about to stop and buy lemonade from me. IF they were WALKING – it would be a brilliant plan actually! (hmmmm – shall I sprinkle some nails a few bends down the road and open a tyre repair company?)

We all seem to think we are going to be the LUCKY one and win the lotto and get rich quick scheme – (no wonder they can rip folk off so much)
We got to learn that WORKING at things – covering ALL areas… is what eventually leads to success.

The best thing I ever read to put writing in perspective (and much of a lot of other things we all attempt to do because we are ‘talented’):

‘A Surgeon studies for many years to become professional at his art – yet we seem to think that simply because we are a little talented at something and can string a few words together that we qualify to do the job? You would not see someone just walk into a surgery with a scalpel and begin operating…yet we seem to think we can do this with writing and then wonder why we are not on par or we not GETTING anywhere with it.’

These words ring in my head – not because I think people who have not studied writing should not ‘qualify’ to write – but because writing (and again – photography/art/craft/music/cake-making – everything) always has the side we don’t think of…the business side…the side we HAVE to learn – HOW does the industry operate?

No matter HOW fantastic you have been told you are at what you do, it will go nowhere if you do not learn and cover the areas that are needed to compliment what you are trying to achieve! Hey, go write the book and send to the publishers…the first thing they will ask you is…do you have a platform?

Surprise surprise.