I miss paper you know.
As the comment began in response to ‘paper? what is paper??’ …
The thought followed:
I used to sit with blank pieces of paper and a pencil and pen.
I would simply put the instrument onto the surface and begin.
I seldom used to set out to ‘write’ or ‘draw’.
I would let it go where ever it wanted to.
Sometimes a piece of lined paper would end up with a sketch on it – sometimes a blank sheet would end up scrawled with verse.
Didn’t matter – no end goal – just doing it gave me such great joy.
I drew and wrote some of my most epic things in that way.
How does one recapture that?
When we have goals and a set point we wish to achieve – how do we capture that essence of the creative heart – the instinctiveness of our natures?
How do we do that with anything we do in life?
When there is a set goal and an end – it becomes more about the achievement then the doing and embracing and sharing.
I do not like that much really…and yet… we need those goals to spur us on.
What is our overriding goal as humanity?
To survive – but we do not trust that we will. We grasp at everything and anything to keep us going, keep us alive – keep us happy/balanced/stable…normal.
Instead of following our natures and instincts and being confident that who we are is who we are intended and it will affect and nurture who it must. Not about us and our goal. Not about that great piece of writing or the drawing that speaks over eons…it is about connections…to ourselves and others. To the essence of who we are and how we touch and bring to us who we need and what we need…really by doing nothing else other than being who we are.
But the world and other people would have us change that – now wouldn’t they?
I just think about the above example in my life (as I do mostly) I was once told that getting a formal education in the arts would strip me of my instinctiveness with it. I really see what that person was saying. Still – to achieve what the world expects we kinda need to do both? How hard is THAT. No fucking wonder we struggle to find balance in our lives.
What are we trying to balance?
I am sure it is what the world expects of us and what we feel others need us to be and what we really truly are within our cores. Cos we DO have to make the compromise – we DO have to put on a mask at times…because everyone is wearing one..and lets be fucking honest here —-
Most of us would run a bloody mile if we really did see inside each others heads. SO we hold back – we do not want to frighten people away…
If we JUST were able to get to the core of each person – we would find none of us are that much different with what we desire. We just all look to meet it in different ways.
All we want is to survive and be able to be ourselves being accepted for who and what we are.
Stupid isn’t it?
That we think we have to be something – and that something is just what we do not need to be and turns out to be exactly the wrong thing?
Like that paper that could be anything I wanted it to be because it did not have to become anything other than what it was – it was what it was – it is what it is – it allows by its nature for the person interacting with it to ‘use’ or interact with it in a million different ways – JUST by being itself and trusting the nature of its purpose.
YOU see it all around in the animal kingdom – as I was also reminded of by a kind commentator this day.
Why do we fight our nature so much to conform to some man made set of rules? We take information in through our lives and get told about how bad or good we are. How capable or incapable. How happy or sad we should be. How hard we should work or how little we should play. We get threatened with dire consequence if we do not conform to societal norms.
Now then – hmmm – that’s a biggy isn’t it? Cos if we did NOT have SOME form of societal norms – everything would go pear shaped indeed. We KNOW we cannot have folks running a muck doing as they please. So does that contradict what I am saying here then?
I suppose it depends on how you look at it.
WHO made the rules?
See mankind had to try to formulate some kind of way to adjust to speech. Once we started opening our god damn mouths – everything went belly up – because there was now room for misunderstandings.
Oh yeah – I know – debatable – creationism vs evolutionism etc blah blah – who cares right?
If you know a God that created a whole universe – then you know my God – and though my God is ‘based’ on the Christian God – he is a little different in that I do not see Him as being quite as narrow minded as the people he created (however the hell he did it)
And IF – only – JUST IF we for one SECOND stop to consider that ALL our rules and regulations that we have imposed on ourselves are MANMADE – then it kinda gets you thinking about interpretations.
Perhaps all the Holy books ARE God Inspired – perhaps WE have a damn hard time interpreting what the hell God is trying to show us and teach us?
Perhaps we write God off because we are so caught up in the mumbo jumbo of religion that man has invented to try put a power in a box?
HOW do we know what God thinks is OK?
HOW? By some words written on a piece of parchment. Holy inspired words that we do not even understand?
He speaks to us even today – but we will not hear as our minds and hearts have been hardened and deceived…He speaks to some – He speaks through some. He speaks even now.
He uses simple men and women – to tell of His great wisdom. He speaks in the night into the ears and hearts of those who will hear…
He sustains them and holds them close and instills in them His humility and compassion and he will edify(encourage) and uplift through them. He brings words to soothe the soul and guide the heart and lead the mind. He brings signs of our times and wisdom to understand knowledge. He brings you words filled with truth and what His will and divine nature wishes to impart to our world so blinded and lost by our own egos.
The great theologians who declare the norms and interpret it all FOR US…and we just obey blindly every order given us…but they forgot the Spirit…it got left out of the picture.
We can tame and train any creature there is. How much more can we do it with language and speech?
Look at how easily some humans get hypnotized. Look at how we are brainwashed into cults – or even into buying a certain brand of product.
Seeking freedom and truth from all these things is (for me) what a spiritual journey consists of. Freeing my body mind and heart from the constraints of manipulation into conformity. But I do not do it alone.
We are given one thing that the animal kingdom does not have – a spirit (not body form!!) akin to the one who created us – THAT is our difference – GOD breathed life into us. (shit that could be that we once were apes and He BREATHED his spirit into us to bring us into HIS WISDOM – yes I DO have all my theories about it all) THAT is how we are separated from the animal kingdom…and yet – a power we can tap into is cast aside as we attempt to control our natural instincts…with our natural instincts. HUH?
How do we expect to do that?
We were given a power and authority and a means to use it and source it and implement its essence and value into the world – and yet we think we are smart cos we can talk and do things with our thumbs?
Idiots I tell you. We are all mere idiots trying to live within these bodies with all our emotions and baggage and trying to be normal – but our normal requires us learning how to use our spirit within it all – to allow THAT to guide our movement over the pages of our lives…to TRUST THAT.
For He created the flowers of the field and knows every petal. He made the birds of the air and feeds them — well he used to until WE Cocked it all up with our pride at how ‘clever’ we were – remember the apple of knowledge? (whether metaphorical or not – I am leaning to metaphorical people!) Ah yes – we think we are ever so smart don’t we?
We were offered knowledge. Knowledge is good. Why would a loving God want to keep it away from us?
I am GUESSING – because knowledge is only good if it has wisdom to hold its hand – without wisdom – knowledge is nothing.
And I am guessing again (well not really but you would never believe me anyway) that God knew (oh somehow with all that lack of power n stuff) that we did not have the wisdom to handle the knowledge…yet…
But brilliant little people that we suddenly were – all in awe of ourselves – we knew better and took it before it was time. (although it really was time when you know that all is as it should be and happens as it should)
Then we were basically screwed – we did not understand how to use this knowledge nor did we know how to source into the wisdom that prevails over all. What were we to do?
Wonder aimlessly with no direction and no access to this great wisdom that tells us and evokes in us everything we all seek?
We all want to be wise – WHY???
Because without wisdom – we are lost. (hmmm – ‘lost’ – sounds familiar in religious speak…)
Wisdom tells us – ‘We will not gain the knowledge we need until we are ready’ Ie – ‘we will not be able to handle knowledge until we have the wisdom to do so’ – iEEE – We can have knowledge and not fully understand it – unless we have wisdom…in which case it then becomes either futile – OR dangerous…to ourselves… to our fellow humans – to our world.
Shit – THAT went off somewhere WAY OFF the paper. Awesome :D
Moral of the story?
Seek wisdom – though it cost all you have – gain understanding…for without it you will never know who you are and will never be able to become who you were intended to be – BUT – TRUST in the nature of things – IF you ARE seeking it WITH ALL YOUR HEART – if it IS your deepest desire to understand and grow wise – it WILL be granted…in time – even when it seems it is not – and IT WILL unravel and it WILL become your greatest treasure to hold and hand to those who will take it as a gift from whence it came.
There is only one under the Sun – Where all life comes from – united we stand – divided we fall…
How divided we have been made to become… gender – colour – creed – If there is ONE God – then He has loved us all and the rules we made whilst going along trying to figure out our knowledge and find this wisdom and keep order by our OWN means – we established these divisions between us all – but the spirit cries to us all to unite – and all we hear is ‘Make THEM like US’
Conquer and divide – the greatest strategy of all time.
We do everything like this:
‘If they could JUST be like us – or think like us – or do it this way’
BUT OUR SPIRITS ARE THE SAME.
OUR GOD IS THE SAME ONE.
I do these often and never post them really… because they get so long (I mean I COULD go on obviously – but I need more input and feedback to do that – )maybe I will stop doing that- you know – NOT publishing these words that swirl in my head without re reading them and second guessing myself and thinking ‘oh my – I should get that word count down’ Fuck it.
THIS is RAW. Actually no – it STILL is not – ONE day – I will publish – the real shit…. ;) But we have to be ready. We are not ready – little worms that we are.